~I am BACK FINALLY!!!~
A BIG HELLO TO ALL.... How are you guys doing?
YES, I have been missing for quite a while... and for those who have not hear from me for ages or are wondering where have I been for this half a year...well I am really busy burried and burnout with my work....to the extend that I guess I really lost my social life.
I had sorted it all out...ENOUGH IS ENOUGH... and YAP I am back finally back on my blog.
I used to love(spend alot of time) to blog, to write down all my thoughts (happiness/unhappiness), things about life, interesting things I observed, people I met (people I like/dislike) but somehow my current work had taken all that away from me.
Not just on blogging but my whole entire life and happiness as well. From the optimistic person I used to be, from the carefree person I used to be.... now I am being cautious of my every move...being cautious that there are just no nice people around within your possible conflict circle in whole except your loves ones and friends.
Isnt it kinda sad that people would "kill" each other for benefits, conflicts, jealously, etc...etc? People can just assume who you are without understanding you or the situation just because it is the easy way out/ it makes them feel better about themselves in this way. I could never have the heart to do that to somebody else even if its a person I noe for a day...and I guess I could never understand why people can do these to each other everyday. The thought of that just makes me realise that I have to force myself to be like them...so fake...act nice etc and I keep shouting to myself "HEY Gal WAKE UP.... DONT TRUST DONT TRUST!!!! How many times have you tell yourself not to TRUST... how many times are you going to get hurt till you realise huh???"
If you had asked me if I felt any regret chosing the work I have now... surprisingly I will say no...cause it makes me learn more... it makes me stronger and it makes me realise that I am stronger that I already am.
It allows to me to go though difficults that I believe most of my fellow schoolmates might not went though... its more than just hetic/ ridiculous workload... its more than just mean people around... it the feeling that there are nobody around to guide you...there is absolutly no support from anyone... but by motivating my self and working very hard, I am still able to achieve the annual target in half a year and I can still solve all the work related problem/ challenges that pop up almost every other day all by myself with no good advise from anyone.
I have learnt... i have learn alot alot... from an engineering background to sales/ marketing/ business development/ work processes/ politics.... so much so much that even I myself cant believe that I actually self-learned/ self-developed that with nobody help.
I did have my doubts... on whether am I feeling these mental and pysical stress because I am not competence enough or is it that it is really true that I should step out of the shithole. I had went about talking to professionals from different fields trainers/ friends/ doctor but I still have my doubt. I am still searching for the answer whether is my situation the problem or am I the problem.
It is today after I shared with a trainer of a course who in coincidence happens to be a psychiatrist that it reaffirm me that I am not the person with the problem. I didnt explain lot about my situation as I was embrassed and one look he stated to me I am not the "Problem One". Its ironic that I didnt realised it sooner even when interviewer (interviews for jobs that require dynamic, high energy, strong determination roles) ask me if I would find their work not challenging enough given what I am doing now.
Perhaps I am surrounded by lies and lies, blinding me from the light of the truth. But its all going to be OK, I have sorted that all out. I know my strengths and my weaknesses and I WILL SUCCEED in my next step in life. I am determine to set things right.... and I am getting my life back.
All in all I miss you guys (contacting/ replying my friends, sms, msn, outings... I know I have been letting you guys down when I didt reply your messages/missing on the outing trips as I am too tired/ stress or phobia to face the PC or to go out after work) and I missed my life (shopping/ sports/ dancing/ blogging/ taking pictures etc).
There is a saying "If you cant change the enviroment...change yourself" well thats absolutely wrong...it should be "If you cant change the enviroment...MOVE ON and get over with it"... there is no point changing yourself to the extend that you lose yourself for the enviroment.... if you had try your very best to change but the enviroment still does not work... just move to another... Though there be chances that you might meet the same bad things and bad people but you will never know until you move on!!!
My Plan for Advancement:
WORK
1. Get out of the shithole but look before jumping, dun jump from one shithole to another
2. Finalised the decision for taking the WDA Certified Professional Service course in Sept
3. Finalised the decision for taking the NUS Graduate Diploma In Marketing in Dec
4. Save up enough money for my next year December MBA course
Personal
1. Clear up my study loan by the end of this year
2. Sign up for gym membership for exercise/ just go for sport at least once a week to get my health back
3. Detoxification - get back my healthy diet
JiayouJiayouJiayou!!!
YES, I have been missing for quite a while... and for those who have not hear from me for ages or are wondering where have I been for this half a year...well I am really busy burried and burnout with my work....to the extend that I guess I really lost my social life.
I had sorted it all out...ENOUGH IS ENOUGH... and YAP I am back finally back on my blog.
I used to love(spend alot of time) to blog, to write down all my thoughts (happiness/unhappiness), things about life, interesting things I observed, people I met (people I like/dislike) but somehow my current work had taken all that away from me.
Not just on blogging but my whole entire life and happiness as well. From the optimistic person I used to be, from the carefree person I used to be.... now I am being cautious of my every move...being cautious that there are just no nice people around within your possible conflict circle in whole except your loves ones and friends.
Isnt it kinda sad that people would "kill" each other for benefits, conflicts, jealously, etc...etc? People can just assume who you are without understanding you or the situation just because it is the easy way out/ it makes them feel better about themselves in this way. I could never have the heart to do that to somebody else even if its a person I noe for a day...and I guess I could never understand why people can do these to each other everyday. The thought of that just makes me realise that I have to force myself to be like them...so fake...act nice etc and I keep shouting to myself "HEY Gal WAKE UP.... DONT TRUST DONT TRUST!!!! How many times have you tell yourself not to TRUST... how many times are you going to get hurt till you realise huh???"
If you had asked me if I felt any regret chosing the work I have now... surprisingly I will say no...cause it makes me learn more... it makes me stronger and it makes me realise that I am stronger that I already am.
It allows to me to go though difficults that I believe most of my fellow schoolmates might not went though... its more than just hetic/ ridiculous workload... its more than just mean people around... it the feeling that there are nobody around to guide you...there is absolutly no support from anyone... but by motivating my self and working very hard, I am still able to achieve the annual target in half a year and I can still solve all the work related problem/ challenges that pop up almost every other day all by myself with no good advise from anyone.
I have learnt... i have learn alot alot... from an engineering background to sales/ marketing/ business development/ work processes/ politics.... so much so much that even I myself cant believe that I actually self-learned/ self-developed that with nobody help.
I did have my doubts... on whether am I feeling these mental and pysical stress because I am not competence enough or is it that it is really true that I should step out of the shithole. I had went about talking to professionals from different fields trainers/ friends/ doctor but I still have my doubt. I am still searching for the answer whether is my situation the problem or am I the problem.
It is today after I shared with a trainer of a course who in coincidence happens to be a psychiatrist that it reaffirm me that I am not the person with the problem. I didnt explain lot about my situation as I was embrassed and one look he stated to me I am not the "Problem One". Its ironic that I didnt realised it sooner even when interviewer (interviews for jobs that require dynamic, high energy, strong determination roles) ask me if I would find their work not challenging enough given what I am doing now.
Perhaps I am surrounded by lies and lies, blinding me from the light of the truth. But its all going to be OK, I have sorted that all out. I know my strengths and my weaknesses and I WILL SUCCEED in my next step in life. I am determine to set things right.... and I am getting my life back.
All in all I miss you guys (contacting/ replying my friends, sms, msn, outings... I know I have been letting you guys down when I didt reply your messages/missing on the outing trips as I am too tired/ stress or phobia to face the PC or to go out after work) and I missed my life (shopping/ sports/ dancing/ blogging/ taking pictures etc).
There is a saying "If you cant change the enviroment...change yourself" well thats absolutely wrong...it should be "If you cant change the enviroment...MOVE ON and get over with it"... there is no point changing yourself to the extend that you lose yourself for the enviroment.... if you had try your very best to change but the enviroment still does not work... just move to another... Though there be chances that you might meet the same bad things and bad people but you will never know until you move on!!!
My Plan for Advancement:
WORK
1. Get out of the shithole but look before jumping, dun jump from one shithole to another
2. Finalised the decision for taking the WDA Certified Professional Service course in Sept
3. Finalised the decision for taking the NUS Graduate Diploma In Marketing in Dec
4. Save up enough money for my next year December MBA course
Personal
1. Clear up my study loan by the end of this year
2. Sign up for gym membership for exercise/ just go for sport at least once a week to get my health back
3. Detoxification - get back my healthy diet
JiayouJiayouJiayou!!!
posted by lainebuffy at 12:39 AM
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